… Sort of…
I have spent the last 5 years of my life hating BMW drivers and, in turn, hating the BMW brand.
I hate how people who drive them always refer to them as “my Beamer,” rather than, “my car.” (I have similar opinions about these arrogant d-bags who walk around in Northface jackets. It’s never, “hand me my jacket.” It’s, “hand me my Northface.” It is a mother eff’ing jacket. Get over yourself).
I hate how they look (looks the same as an Accord to me).
I hate how they are rarely taken care of (almost always dirty and the wheels are ALWAYS covered in break dust… take some pride in your car for God’s sake).
And most of all, and I mean most of all, I hate how they are driven by so many people who can’t afford them.
I am of the belief that a car is a reflection of the driver. It reflects a combination of your needs, income and personality.
So why do I constantly see college kids driving BMWs? Are college campuses a safe place to keep a car? Can college kids afford to buy a BMW? Is there a need for a BMW in college? Last time I checked most college kids eat Raumen Noodles, drink Keystone Light, and pile as many of their drunk friends as possible into one car to get from place to place. Definitely a place for a “Beamer.”
Obviously these wannabe’s can’t afford their car, mommy and daddy bought it for them, which is impossible to comprehend. Let’s review:
Suzie is going to college. Suzie wants a car. Suzie has a high school reputation to up hold so she can’t drive just any ol’ car, she needs a BMW. Mommy and Daddy decide, “Suzie has to have this BMW, she is way too good for a Kia.” Now Suzie rolls around campus in her 3 Series BMW, acting like she is too good for everyone else. Oh, and mommy and daddy pay for her gas and don’t make her get a job because she needs to “focus on her grades.”
If you are in college, drive a BMW and are reading this right now thinking, “This guys is a total a-hole. That’s not how I got my car, I earned my car. Blah blah blah blah.” Stop for a second and really think about how you got your car. Did you pay your down payment? Do you pay your insurance? Do you make monthly payments? Do you need a BMW? You’re the person I am talking about.
Then there is the young professional who gets their first paycheck and thinks they have to own a BMW to show everyone that they make $30k/yr. Enjoy your car… and your food stamps.
Over the years I have become bitter towards BMW. Not because I am jealous, trust me, I’m not a BMW person. I LOVE my Acura. It’s just that I know too many people who have no business driving these cars, but drive them anyway and act like they are somehow superior to everyone because their parents happened to be successful. I have built this persona of a BMW driver in my head and I hate it. Whenever I see one, I immediately despise the driver and the car, usually for no good reason.
Then I moved to South Beach.
You know what doesn’t exist down here? 3 series BMW’s, stuck-up college students and dirty cars. All you see is CLEAN, well kept 6 and 7 Series BMW’s, driven by grown adults who have careers and make their own car payments. I almost feel guilty for all the hating I have done on BMW over the years. Turns out BMW is a luxury car line, and are driven by more than just spoiled college students and over zealous young professionals.
So here is my official apology to you, BMW (as if you care). I’m sorry for all the nasty things I said about you and your drivers. More than anything, I think I am impressed that you were able to take what is basically a Honda Accord, slap a BMW logo on the front and sell it for twice as much as its worth, to people who can’t afford them so they can feel better about themselves. Well done, BMW.
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